We Are All Equals: words of wisdom

Have you ever felt less than or inferior to someone else because you haven’t created as much, or seen as much of the world, or earned as high of an education or not gotten the same level of recognition as they have? I, for one, know I’ve felt this. Many times. 

A new friend of mine gave me a gold nugget of wisdom recently about this. She told me these limiting beliefs and the act of placing ourselves below someone else we view as more successful means that if that person has to pull us up, they’re having to use their energy when we could use our own energy to place ourselves there to begin with. 

What if we switched our inner dialogue and rewired our minds to operate out of the belief that we are all equals? Because we are. We are all humans existing on earth trying to figure out what this game of life is all about. If we knew we are all equals, bringing to the table different knowledge, skills, perspectives etc., then we could be on the same energy level as everyone else; no one would be greater than or less than us. And that seems like a pretty beautiful existence to be operating out of to me. 

It means as we maneuver through the world and encounter others, we don’t have to fear or feel like we have to justify our work, our worth, our existence. We can unapologetically be our true selves and see the beauty in everyone else as they do the same.

Working in this headspace is so damn refreshing.

Grateful to my friend Meg for planting this seed in my head. I’ve been ruminating on it for a while now and it has changed the way I view myself in comparison to others, or rather, it has helped me not compare myself to others.

Writing Vignettes

I’ve heard someone say before that no matter how hard you try to keep yourself out of your fiction writing, you will always inevitably leave small bread crumbs of who you are throughout. A simple thought a character has that you SO would have, an activity a group of friends does in the story that you love or have always wanted to do, details you find important but that maybe readers would never have thought to think of. These tidbits of myself that show up in my fiction are at times such a sweet surprise, while others make me pause and I wonder if I should take it out for fear of being “too seen.”

There are deeper darker parts of all of us we don’t have on display in the front window, but damn if some of those parts of us aren’t pure beauty and the world would benefit to see more of it.

Which leads me to writing vignettes… vignette means: a brief evocative description, account, or episode. And I’ve been writing lots of these, specifically about me during the ages of 16-18. It’s an age-range where I had some of my worst moments but also some of my best when I came into my own skin. The process of writing these, reliving some of the hardest experiences I’ve faced is emotionally exhausting as well as liberating. It’s a theraputic process and one I think most anyone could benefit from doing.

While I’m waiting for feedback from beta readers for my novel Late Bloomer, it has been really good for me to write something so completely different. I hope to turn these vignettes into a full collection to put out into the world. The idea of being so vulnerable and open about the dark moments of my life (in the not too distant past) wouldn’t even have been a real thought in my mind, but one of the driving forces behind my personality is authenticity and what better way to be so fully authentic?

With age, the idea of being vulnerable can make warning sirens go off in a lot of our heads. The past has proven people hurt me, use the information against me, ignore me! No, no. Better to gaurd myself from any of the pain that comes with vulnerability. Sure, these things are true, but I also find it so exhausting hiding from the parts of me that make me, well, me. If anything, we should learn to let the misspoken, hurtful, thoughtless words roll off our backs more easily, but not compromise to be our true authentic selves.

I hope you can take one step, tell or write even one story down you might normally shy away from and feel liberated when you do so.

Beta Readers Process

The first half of this year has been dedicated to finishing my first draft of my latest novel, Late Bloomer.

Late Bloomer and is about an optimistic, quirky almost 30-year-old newly transplanted in Phoenix who is dying to lose her virginity. From online dating and set-ups from friends, it’s filled with humorous and cringe-worthy dates on her mission to become an “adult” and be in a real relationship for the first time. In the spirit of Bridget Jones Diary, everything seems to go wrong for Christine, but her positive outlook on life almost never stops her from putting one foot in front of the other.

The story came to me while laying on the couch thinking about a friend of mine who has referred to herself as a late bloomer. As I talked about the book idea with more ladies, I was surprised to hear so many women related to this notion of feeling "behind" the rest of their friends. So I got busy writing the story of Christine and her humor-filled antics.

The first version of the book is in the hands of beta readers and feedback is coming through. I can’t wait to gather all of their thoughts and structure my next dive into edits. This step, although exciting, is also the most stress-inducing part for me. Organizing the ideas/thoughts/feedback, finding the trends, deciding on the biggest and best feedback to use in the editing process and weeding out the parts that don’t work can at times make my brain hurt. With that said, it is such a critical moment in a book’s evolution and I am so freaking grateful to have amazing beta readers who’ve given me killer feedback.

The rest of my summer I’ll be working away on my first big round of edits.
I hope your summer is treating you well and has been all things adventurous and blissful!

Cheers,
Rachel